Saying Good-Bye

In Loving Memory

Nilla Beans

1996-2009

We're going to miss you girl!

New Editions

We added to our family with the addition of another Boxer named Smokey. He's a little over a year and quite a bit of a puppy still. Like today, while we were at work, he decided to tip over the trash can (that has a lid), rummage through it, chew on an SOS pad and eat who knows what else. He also decided that it would fun to pee all over the family room...and I do mean all over. So needless to say, he'll be going in the kennel tomorrow, in the basement, where he can think about what he likes better...

On the positive side, he is a lover, a cuddler, a runner, a great playmate for Estes. He knows how to sit and stay and shake. It was love at first sight when I saw him.

Celebrations and Blessings

Happy Birthday to my new baby nephew Parker Jackson. He was born yesterday and I was born some 34 years ago. Aprils birthdays are the best.

Not only was it birthday celebrations, it was Easter celebrations too. Cole and Eliana had an easter egg hunt and they found ALL the eggs.

Uncle Brian made the best ham EVER! It took six hours but she was worth it.

It was wonderful to have family over, to be grateful for the new life that has entered all of our lives, and for the tasty food that filled our bellies. Thanks for a perfect day.

Second Family

I'm one of those lucky people that LOVE their job. I enjoy the people I work with, my team seriously kicks ass, AND I love what I do.

Take my team for example: There are 11 of us out of the 43 employees and we have a blast. They take care of me and I take care of them. They are my second family, my friends, my pride.
We try to keep it fun like:

Having flip flop day in the middle of winter

Celebrating work anniversaries

letting our aggression out

Or the time they completely rearranged my office (in the best way...I LOVE my office )

or bringing me pretty flowers for my birthday and saying "I was thinking about you this morning and thought you might like this"....oh, Nick - so thoughtful.

Here is to my team: Katie, Nick, Raquel, Mary, Connie, Vicki, Katie K, Michelle, Clea, and Kevin. I love each of you for all of your hard work, personality, trust, and respect. Thanks for making my days worthwhile.

The Land of Enchantment: Part B

Last time I wrote about our adventure to New Mexico. This time, it's still about being in NM, but it's about the people we met, and they weren't New Mexicans. They were Kazakhs. Yes, that's right people from Kazakhstan https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/kz.html. I like this link because it's from the CIA. It makes me feel like I'm reporting on top secret military intiatives.

My dad is like a top secret government guy. He's a highly regarded, probably the best in the business trained fire arm specialist. He trains people over all the world on how to protect important things like nuclear war heads, nuclear waste, top secret facilities, etc. He runs simulations like war games to see how long and how hard it is for his team to breach security at a number of high security facilities. He's basically a bad ass and super smart. He was a special ops, Green Beret, if that tells how bad ass he really is. Anyway, he has been in NM for five weeks training 11 Kazakhs and Cole and I had the opportunity to meet some of them.

First, we met the "Colonel". And while I thought that the Kazakhs would look like Russians, they, in many cases, look Mongolian. But I didn't know this at first so when I met the "Colonel" I was a bit surprised. We met at breakfast, but he doesn't speak much English. We met up a couple hours later to go to the flea market and he brought all sorts of gifts for me, Cole and Emma. We only had said "Hi" hours earlier and now he bears gifts for us. Here is a shot of Cole with all is gifts. Amazing.

And here's a shot of us at the flea market.

Next was the "General". Yeah, that's right, basically the third guy in charge of Kazakhstan. He was so much fun and if given the chance, I think he would have eaten Cole right up. He just adored him - played "tom and jerry" with him with popcorn, wrestled, gave him chocolate, kissed, hugged. Cole LOVED him too. We sat outside for a few hours playing and talking and eating. The General doesn't speak English either so my dad played interpreter for me and Carol. The "General" was so animated when he spoke - big arms, detailed facial expressions, expressive voice tones - and it was so awesome to hear my dad interpret EVERYthing. The "General" brought out Lamb stew, pie and of course Vodka and we all ate on the lawn at the hotel. It was such a wonderful experience - laid back and informal. My dad told us alot about their customs, from eating horses and how they kill their animals (they hang them by their feet and slit the throats - it's much better for eating and cooking), to how important gifts and food are, and the does and don'ts of honoring their customs, like eating with forks, not your fingers.

Thank you for a wonderful opportunity to meet interesting people. We had a great time.

The Land of Enchantment: Part A

For all you New Mexicans, I don’t really understand the state slogan – Land of Enchancement. Albuquerque seems desolate, poor, non modern, very brown with single story buildings made of adobe that don't look tall enough to stand in. It doesn’t call to me Land of Enchantment. That’s not to say we didn’t thoroughly enjoy our time, but I prefer the green hills and steep mountains of my beautiful Colorado.

Day One:
Spending lots of quality time with my dad, step mom, sister, and Cole. It was a weekend for Cole to spend some fun with his grandparents and Aunt. We arrived Friday with no snow delays whatsoever. It’s a quick 45-min plane ride and Grandma and Emma picked us up at the airport. We grabbed some lunch at the China Super Buffet, spent a bit of time at the hotel and off we went to Emma’s drop in swim lesson…and we were able to give Cole a swim lesson too AND have playtime at the park.

Dinner at Paisano’s was INCREDIBLE. All of our dinners were soooo good and the wine excellent. The kids were tired from swimming, but held it together for the most part. Cole fell off the chair and whacked his head on the table; got a little scrap on the side of face/eye and it turned a little purple. Do you know how cute my little monkey was? He actually fell asleep at the table, propped on one hand and made his way to my lap when his head slipped out of his hand. It was the cutest think. Day One: Survived
Day Two:
Early wake up call by Cole at 6 a.m. Some pillow talk with grandpa, breakfast, and a trip to the Flea Market was how our morning was filled. Afternoon was a trip out to Bob and Dolly’s where dad keeps his horses. We were blessed with a drive by from the ice cream truck and we ate the treats while we walked around the ranch. There was a little baby horse, just three weeks old, that was absolutely adorable. Depart the ranch (not the biggest loser ranch) and stop by an RV selling fresh oven bread and fresh fruit pie. We made it back to the hotel for a good nap so that we’d be fresh for the PBR (Professional Bull Riding); which was AWESOME. Dad got us tickets and it was so exciting to see those cowboys (hotties) riding those HUGE bulls. Cole made it through the whole performance, flirting with cute teenage girls who thought he was adorable.

Day Three:
Cole woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Didn’t have his listening ears on; was basically a little monster all day. Although he did behave during my early morning workout in the gym and then off we went to breakfast at the Frontier, a local ABQ landmark. Grandma, Emma, Cole and I ventured off to Santa Fe for some sightseeing. Cole was the same little Monster he woke up as. We did last for a couple hours, but it was torture….for everyone. I can’t believe we all survived. Lunch and nap. Hot tubin’. Visit with the General, food, food, food. Some couch lovin' between Cole and Gma and Gpa. Then off to dreamland.

Day Four:

Our last day, we only had about three hours to do something once everyone was wake, showered, and fed. We decided to go over to Kirtland Air Force base. The trip turned sour when Cole had a tantum in the store, which sent him and I to the car, both of us in tears. I think we had both met our maximum level capacity and we both missed Dad (me for hand off of Cole, and Cole for the love and longing of his dad). We made our way to the airport and off we went, after a short fun filled time with family. Emma was definitely Cole's BFF. He followed her everywhere she went and was so patient with him. Thanks for being a great "little" Auntie.

Stay tuned for Part B which is about meeting some amazing people and seeing a part of my dad that I've never experienced before.

Sleeping Baby

There is nothing quite as precious as a sleeping baby. Last night, I checked on Cole as I always do before I go to sleep, to make sure he is covered up and breathing. And every night, I love to watch him sleep, hear his little breath go in and out, and ever so gently as not to wake him, put my hand on his sweet face. He is such an angel, especially in these restful moments. It fills my heart with warmth and happiness and the power of love.

Rest well, my little monkey.

All sorts of memorable moments

I can't believe it's already been a week since my last confession....oh, I mean my last post.

Here's a photo diary of what's been going on:

Play time with Ben and Sofia in the sandbox

Backyard fun with Jeffrey Vomiting for the first time of his life (no picture needed, just know it was in his bed and quite gross)

Eliana's 2nd birthday

Hockey game fun with Jeffrey, Jeff, Michelle, Mom and Dad

Cole and I are off to NM for some weekend fun with Grandma Carol, Grandpa Jack and Aunt Emma. Stay tuned for more of our adventures....

Weekend Fun

-self portrait of Aunt Wendy and Eliana with the zoom on...oops!

We had a surprise visit on Sunday from Umple Derrick, Aunt Veronica, and little Eliana. It was a gorgeous day so we spent our visit outside in the front yard, watching the kids play. Here are some shots.

Love everyone bunches.

Fuse

Before motherhood, I don't think I had a "patience" fuse. It's grown over the span of four and half years, thanks to my beautiful Cole. There are times however, that the fuse, while gaining length everyday, sometimes ignites and burns at rapid speed. Sometimes, it can be de-fused, but other times, it detinates. I detinate.

Let's take tonight for example. Cole decides five minutes before bedtime that he didn't get the dessert he wanted and he now wants a popcicle. The fortune cookie from dinner wasn't good enough. If you don't know, Cole is a negotiator. He doesn't have the skill mastered because he doesn't quite understand that each party needs to get something out of the deal. But that doesn't stop him from trying his win-lose tactics on us.

He starts down his path.."But, I wanted a popcicle for dessert."

"You can have a popcicle tomorrow for dessert," I say. My patience is like that of a Saint.

"It will take too long for tomorrow," he declares.

And repeat about four times before Dad says, "Stop talking back, you just lost a popcicle for tomorrow. Now get ready for bed" (my patience is still here, losing Saint status, but still here)

Lots of pouting, more pouting, more pouting (from Cole, not me).

He reads a book to me, while pouting (pure talent, right) and I try to talk him logically through the situation.

"Cole, what do you think we should do about the popcicle?"

"Well, tomorrow is too far away and Dad said I can't have one now," still pouting.

"Maybe you could tell him you are sorry for talking back and that we can reevaluate the situation in the morning," I advise, still with uber mom patience! I amaze myself sometimes.

He listens (remarkable) and goes to tell Dad, "Sorry and maybe we can reevaluate in the morning," with a little help from me.

All seems good until I put him in bed and he is STILL pouting. I leave him to figure it out and go to clip by toe nails.

Soft sobs I hear from his bedroom. Mumbles. Getting louder,

"My mom shut my door" (not true it was cracked the same way it is every night"

"My mom shut my door", mumble, cry, mumble, REPEAT 15 times....

Here is where the fuse burned at a rapid speed and I detinated. I thought because I was in the bathroom, that Chris would engage in the situation, but that didn't happen so I slammed the drawer shut, flung open the bathroom door, threw open Cole's door, all while yelling nonsense about the situation.

You see, I am a negotiator as well. I try to get all of us what we want. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Cole now understood that I had hit my limit and upon removing myself from the bathroom for the second time, I hear him say as I walk past his room, "I'm sorry Mom." Ohhhh - he really knows how to pull my heart strings. A quick stop in his room to get a hug and kiss and for me to apologize too....we parted on good terms.

p.s. Chris was trying to figure out why the bathroom drawer won't shut. I had to confess that I broke it during my detination. Darn it.

You have pretty eyes...

This is the classic line Cole uses when he knows I am upset with him. He can tell either my tone or my facial expression and he will look at me straight in the face and say, "Mom, you have pretty eyes." Urgh! How can you be mad after that? He definitely knows how to work me.

We took it easy this weekend - movie day at home on Saturday morning, swim lessons, dinner in the living room, and some playtime outside yesterday (it was glorious!). We missed Rachel and Sierra at Frozen Dead Man days. We missed our tradition, but it sure did look cold from the pictures on your blog.

Looking forward to our trip to NM to see Aunt Emma, Grandma Carol, and Grandpa Jack. Just a few more weeks.

Leg Cane

Here's the deal. I feel like I haven't blogged about my monkey in a while and that makes me sad. I love writing about how funny Cole is or what we've been up to. So here are some of our latest adventures.

Play date with Dylan.

Hiking with the family.

Built a Lincoln Log Ranch.

Swim lessons.

Hanging at the bowling alley while we bowl.

Play date with Shane.

Dancing.

Playing games.

Riding bikes.

(sometimes, all this in one day - no wonder why I need naps on the weekend)

I love you Monkey!

Six

Today, March 1, marks our 6th wedding anniversary. We celebrated by eating at Vesta Dipping Grill (SUPERB). It was fabulous and it was Denver Restaurant week so it was $52.80 plus drinks and tip which put us at another $50....but it was worth it. Apps, entrees, and desserts!

Anniversary Recount:

Year 1. Trip to San Diego

Year 2. ? - it's a blur because of the newness of parenthood

Year 3. ? - it's a blur because my memory was out of commission for a few years due to giving birth.

Year 4. Devils Thumb X Cty ski trip

Year 5. Dinner at Bloom

Year 6. Dinner at Vesta

So, for a month I've tried to figure out something to buy Chris made of "iron" which is the traditional 6th wedding gift. So of course, the day before our anniversary I figure it's time to get serious and went to Home Depot in hopes that I may find something. I'm looking at the smokers (you know for meat) and I turn around and Mr. Wonderful is looking at foliage near by. I accuse him of spying on me and we have a 20 minute discussion on buying a joint gift, which turns out to be nothing made of metal.

Happy Anniversary Chris!

It's funny what parenthood can do to a person. Driving home from picking Cole up from school, we drove by an outdoor hockey rink. There were only two people in the rink, a dad and his little boy. His boy was probably about 6 or 7 and his dad was playing hockey with him. They were both on rollerblades and while it was a quick drive by, the boy was much better than the dad. And it made me smile as I saw his dad trying to manuever, wobblely, on his skates mainly to teach the boy. He definitely had heart.

You see, we attempt to teach people, usually our kids, things we may not be great at because maybe THEY will be great. Kids have that potential - not all kids have an athlete ability, or a singing ability, but what they do have, usually, is a desire to learn. So, teach 'em. Don't just teach them what you're great at or the things you love, but be adventureous, try to learn something new with them.

Be wobblely and get on those skates.

The most important thing is Heart!

Umple Joe came up with what we believe to be the most accurate description of what the most important thing is in someone's character.

Just ask Cole, "What's the most important thing?"

And he'll answer "Heart!"

It's a simple word that carries big weight. It's something we live by here at the Velez house.

Heart emcompasses all the good stuff - passion, spirit, love, tenderness, curiousity, drive, motivation, will power, giving, selflessness, EVERYTHING!

Try it out.

Rats

Tonight Cole and I got home from our day at work and school to an awful smelling house. And I do mean awful. It smelled like 10 dead mice had been rotting in a wall for about two weeks. It wasn't a mouse though. Through the darkness, I could see stuff on the floor, so as I tiptoed to reach the light, I found the source of the most dreadful smell....doggie diarrhea. And I mean lots of it. It trailed the span of our dining room, through the kitchen, through the TV, to an attempt to get out a locked backed door.

Poor Nilla. Sorry you didn't feel good today girl and thanks for trying to get outside. My brother would have just added to the mess by barfing all over the place so thank goodness he wasn't here. Cole just plugged his nose and continued to eat his candy. Meanwhile, I grabbed a pair of latex gloves (three pairs total), the mop, and got to work. I have to admit my gag reflex went off about four times.

I'm sure there is worse things, but half wet half dry doggie diarrhea spread half way across your house has to rank pretty high, right? But all is clean now (i broke the mop...not an opportune time). Just writing about it now makes me want to barf so enough about our welcome home surprise.

I had a disturbing dream the other night. I dreamt there were four rats in our basement. HUGE rats. FAT rats with long thick tails. It was like a nightmare and I'm still scarred from it even though I can't remember all the details. I do remember that they scared me and I tried to kill them but they were so HUGE and FAT and their tails so thick....

The next night I dreamt about sex.

What will tonight bring?

p.s. Thanks to Veronica for her post about family night. It was a nice treat to have you guys over. We love you all so much.

Why I Do It

I've been wanting to answer a question lately about why I blog.

Blogging makes me appreciate the simple things in life. The things that really matter. The things that make me the happiest. I remember when I didn't have a blog and I would read NieNie's blog and think, how is her life so wonderful? Everything can't always be that good, can it?

Blogging makes me feel closer to myself, to what's really important to me. It helps remind me to keep things in perspective. And while my life isn't always peachy, it's pretty damn close and blogging helps me give thanks for the little things instead of consuming myself with the things I can't change. It's about making cookies and taking a picture of them because you're so proud of how beautiful they look. Or talking about how you first met the love of your life. Or documenting some of the "firsts", like Cole riding his bike or singing in the holiday show. Or telling my mom how much she means to me.

I focus on the little monkey and how in the bottom of my soul, he has changed me. All the brillant things he has shown me and taught me. His little laugh, his beautiful eyes, his soft touch, his amazing character. I am so proud of him. He is my angel and I am filled with so much more love because of him.

I can't speak of love without mentioning Mr. Wonderful. I'll let you all in on a little secret - I don't always think he is wonderful (and that's ok and I'm not always wonderful either) and our marriage isn't perfect (and that's ok, too). But, I love our little life and the home we've built, and most of the all the son we're raising. And, those are the things I write about. Sometimes, I read through my old blog entries, just to smile at the silly things. And one day, Cole will read these and hopefully feel how much we love him and how lost we would be without him.

I love you monkey and I love you Mr. Wonderful - Happy Valentine's Day!

Super Heros and other things

Here's the dealio - there is nothing more adorable than a kid in costume for no other reason then the fact that he just wanted to wear it.

Recent Hightlights:

1. Velez Entertainment down grade turns into upgrade - We canceled cable! That's right, no What Not To Wear, Project Runaway, America's Next Top Model, Ace of Cakes, or all the other fabulous things on TLC. No more DVR/tivo. We're on rabbit ears and hulu. So, I remember when Tivo came out and thinking that was the best invention ever, one that we used daily. But now, with Mr. Wonderful's talents, we now have a computer hooked up to our TV and we watch free shows off of Hulu.com. It's amazing.

2. Tupperware - the second exciting upgrade is throwing away all of our tupperware and replacing it with the "Smart Spin". Now, the marketing for this product is all about the carousel that the tupperware sits in, but not for me. The thing that sold me is that it comes with three different sizes but uses all the same lids! In fact, the carousel is in the recycle bin.

3. BFF - this is the latest and greates from the monkey. He said one night this week, "Mama, you're my BFF." Knowing exactly what that means, I had to hear him say it. "What does that stand for?" "Best Friends Forever." AWE! How precious is that?! It's his new favorite word this week and he can keep saying it because it's so freakin cute. At dinner last night, out of the blue he says "Dylan is my BFF". Chris and I just look at each other, thinking our baby is growing up. Kindergarten registration happens Wednesday! It will still be six months before he goes, but just the fact that we are registering him, is CRAZY.

4. My bowling league ended last week and while I'm going to enjoy getting in bed on Tuesday night at 9pm instead of midnight, I'm going to miss it. I'll miss my team and the sounds of the bowling alley. We bowled today with Umple Joe. Mr. Wonderful is a closet bowler - he did GREAT today for not bowling in a long time.

5. Found out that I'm allegeric to peanuts, almonds, seseame seeds, tomato, clams, cantalope. Who would have known?!

Reflection

I'm sad that I'm just now able to post. It's been too long. I've been in New Mexico at a professional conference for work and a session I attended is the inspiration for this post.
It was given by a collegue , Larry Center - Asst Dean at Georgetown Law School, whom I hold in high regard even though I haven't worked with directly for very long. His session was one of reflection, introspective, potential, and growth; both personal and professional. So without futher ado I will share what I can with you and encourage you to participate.

The session was about setting goals and how to create a life plan whether it be for a year, or 5, 10, 15, 20 years. Through a series of questions, it's amazing how clear your life and intentions can be. Copy and paste everything below into a Word document.

Answer the following sentences/questions with the first thing that pops in your head. Don't overthink your answer:

Set I
1. I am at my best when:
2. I am at my worst when:
3. I am really happy when:
4. I want to be a person who:
5. Someday I would like to:
6. My deepest positive emotions come when:
7. My greatest talents and best gifts are:
8. When all is said and done, the most important things are:
9. Possible life goals for me at this point in my life are:

Set II
1. When I daydream I see myself doing:
2. If I had unlimited resources, what would I choose to do?
3. When I look at my work life, what achievements do I consider of greatest worth?
4. When I look at my personal life, what activities do I consider of greatest worth?
5. What do I consider to by my greatest future contribution to others?
6. What talents do I have, whether developed or undeveloped?
7. Are there things I should really do (eve if I've dismissed then before)? What are they?

Set III
1. Who has served as a positive role model for you and had a significant impact on your life?
2. Why did they have such a big impact?
3. What qualities did they possess that you want to emulate?
4. What other character traits do you admire most in other people?

The next part goes like this:
Write your current age on a piece of paper. Now write 10 below that number and add the two. This is how old you will be in 10 years. It's powerful to see it on paper, it has a great impact.

Choose five roles you have in your life. Some examples are (parent, spouse, church member, volunteer, friend, etc.)
Write them down.
Next to each role, write down the name of the first person you think of. For example, I chose parent and the person is Cole.

Now, imagine you are at a big birthday celebration in your honor (10 years from now). For each of the people named who are associated with the roles in your life, write a tribute statement for you from each of them. What would they say during a speech at your birthday party in front of everyone?

Re-read the tribute statements out loud.
Now ask yourself, what do you have to do to make those tribute statements real and true?

If you left your job today (or your position as volunteer, or church member, etc.) how is it a better place because of you?

Some food for thought. I thought this was a very powerful exercise, a much needed escape into my inner thoughts, desires, priorities, that get lost in the day to day rig-a-ma-roll of life.

TIPS:
1. Focus on the relationship - success comes from people not things. What people can you have a positive impact on?

2. Emotional Bank Account - this is the amount of trust in your relationships based on a scale of 0-10 (0 being none and 10 being infinite). It also includes things like kindness, curitosity , being a role model, not gossiping about people - people are always watching. How do you want to be thought of?

3. Be Proactive - think ahead. Focus on your circle of influence, not your circle of concern.

4. Life is a portrait and you are the artist - what is your life portrait?