Monster Jam

For Valentine's Day, Mr. W. surprised Cole (and me) with tickets to Monster Jam. If you know anything about five year old boys, then you know this is a must see event. Cole LOVED it. If you can get over the WT crowd (not be judgemental) but seriously, quite the place to people watch. Check it out:

Grave Digger! Only the best monster truck EVER....according to Cole.

Who wouldn't like this

So, I've been out of town and my little monkey missed me. When I got home last night, I gave him a little kiss and tucked him tight. He was already sound asleep.

Perfection.

I watched him sleep.

Perfection.

With his little arms tucked around his neck and his little bitty breath. Perfection.

Then, this morning, he watched me sleep. I woke and found him sitting on my night stand staring at me.

Perfection.

To wake and have him be my first sight. Smiling, then giggling, then on top of me hugging me and kissing me.

Perfection.

His sweet little kisses.

Perfection.

He said, "Mama, do you want me to make you breakfast?"

I asked, "What did you have in mind?"

"A bowl of cereal?" he said.

Perfection.

Things I like today:

People driving who wave thanks when you let them over

Snow + sun + snowboard + great friend = amazing day at Eldora (on Monday)

Things I don't like today:

People who stand at the corner of busy intersections asking for money with a sign

Sink Holes

Last night I woke from a nightmare, sweaty and heart racing. I dreamt that Cole had fallen into a hole...a hole that went down miles...a snowy hole. He was jumping around on the snow and all of the sudden, it gave way and he was gone in an instant. I can't explain what it was like to see that happen. There was nothing to do. The hole went on forever and the snow was falling into it. I didn't know how to save him. I knew he was dead. My heart is racing just thinking about it again.

I was so freaked it out and worked up, that when I let the dogs out at 4:30am, I ate a bowl of cereal because I was starving. I tried to go back to sleep but it didn't work out so well.

I'm tired now. It finally caught up me with me. I didn't have time to be tired at work, but now, in the quiet of the house, I realize just how tired I am. I called Rachel and asked her why she thought I had a dream like that and she asked if I had seen the preview for Alice and Wonderland because there is a scene like that. I hadn't seen the preview so I kind of wrote it off. But later in the day, I realized that I did see a movie called All About Steve with Sandra Bullock (btw - it was quite funny). Anyhow, there was scene where about 20 kids are running through a field and all of the sudden the earth opens right up, like a big sink hole.

It makes perfect sense now. I still hate the dream.

Kitchen Sinks and Such

I don't know what to write about tonight. I should write about Cole and how amazing he is, but I'm not feeling very creative. More like out of sorts. Maybe just tired. So, I guess I'll sum up the highlights with bullet points:

• Spent four days in Orlando for a conference. It rained the whole time but I reconnected with some friends and met a new favorite, Mindy from Tennessee.


• Mr. W. got a new job. Yippee! I hope it's all he thinks it can and will be. He deserves to be happy and get paid for how smart he is.


• Cole absolutely loves gymnastics. We're upgrading from the rec center to a real gym ($$$$) and apparently he loves bubble baths too.
  
  
• Mr. W installed a new sink while I was gone. It looks fantastic. I love it. I mean, I really really love it.
  
• Going snowboarding on Monday with Michelle - can't wait to hang out with her.

Like I said, no creativity tonight.

On a side note, Mrs. Veronica - I just read your post from a few days ago. Motherhood has that affect on all of us sometimes, even if we don't spend our days at home with the babies. Big deep breaths. I bet it's better already. I love you.

Bounce Town

Bounce Town with Umple Joe and Michael - January 2, 2010

Deliciouso

Mr. W told me that my last blog was dark. So, I'll lighten it up by telling you about last night. I think the whole gluten-free thing is going to work out pretty darn good for us. Chris has already lost 10 pounds (that's what no beer will do) and except for a few times, has been belly ache free for nearly three weeks.

Last night we deciced to have fish, which we haven't had much of lately, but will become a regular in our new diet. It was tilipia fillets last night and oh my goodness....it was absolutely Jax restaurant style good. If you don't know Jax's it is the best seafood restaurant in Boulder. And apparently Mr. W should go work there.

First, the sauce: yellow onion, yellow pepper, garlic, honey, miso mayo, sea salt, sauteed for 15 minutes. Spinkle tipilia with Adobe seasoning, spicy spices, cover fish with sauce and bake for 10 minutes at 375, and then broil for 10 minutes. Couple it with steamed broccoli and some brown rice, it was the BEST dinner ever. We both couldn't stop talking about it. The broiled sauce gave the onions an almost carmelized taste. The fish was so tasty, we both wanted more, but there wasn't any left. UMMMMM! Deliciouso!

Then we tucked Cole in bed and Mr. W and I watched the movie, The Hurt Locker. It was intense. My heart was pumping, my adrenline flowing. I don't know how Dan Sespey does it. Be safe!

And that was our night. Pretty good right?

A quick plug for Sprouts. They have the best produce for CHEAP and tons of gluten-free things that are easily marked. Sprouts and Whole Foods are our main grocery stores now. So long and farewell Safeway and King Soopers.

Black and White

There is nothing like a scoulding hot shower to rinse away the black that builds up during the day. I don't mean dirt, either, although it does well for actually cleaning too. The black I'm talking about is deeper than dirt, just under the surface. It's the stress, the negativity, the cynism, the impatience, the selfishness, that develops during the course of a day or a few days. A hot shower is a moment to stand still, watch the black go down the drain, and say good-bye, even if not for long. It is a place where you can be wrapped in your thoughts, the aromas of good soap, and breath in the white. The white are the exact opposite. The white is patience, love, understanding, unselfishness, optimism.

I tend to worry about things, little things, big things. It's a part of who am I. And as I mother, I worry about things that I hope never in my lifetime or things that never touch our family. Tragic, horrific events. I put myself in a scenario of widower. I imagine myself the mother of a murdered son, or a kidnap victim. It's depressing, I know. But, millions of people have been in these very shoes. I imagine myself under circumstances like these, maybe living through it, with a dead heart and a shell of a body with no blood or emotion or anything flowing through me, yet they say I'm alive. I think about the mother in Haiti who has lost her son.

I know that as long as I live, there is no greater feeling of love, than what I feel for Cole. It is greater than me. It engulfs me. I love him more than words can ever describe, to the core of my being, to the center of my soul. I can't imagine not loving him, not seeing him every day. I cannot imagine my life without him. I want to wake him right now, but he sound asleep.

I love you baby.
I love you Mr. W.

Sweet dreams.

Paddington

Does it get any cuter? Seriously, I love this little boy.

More to come on Cole's adventure with Paddington the Bear.

Living Without

Dear Mr. W -

It's one of your closest friends, the bathroom toilet. You can call me Toi for short. I heard the news of your recent and long awaited poo test results. WOW! Big lifestyles changes for you. No gluten, dairy, and potato (otherwise known as salt). Sounds rough. But, there are a few positives you probably haven't thought about yet. Let's face it, you're probably still in some form of denial, wondering what you CAN eat. Listen, all I know is, you will save money on toilet paper, save on water use, and you will extend the life of me by not having to use me so often. I mean, who couldn't use more fresh air?

I hope it's not a bitter good-bye for us. I have enjoyed your company, magazines read, games played on the cell phone, but really, it's not forever. You will always need me. Here's to fresh foods, homemade meals, and let's be real, some stress. You'll find the way this fits in with your lifestyle and you'll be belly ache free in no time!!

Sweet sounds of health are just ringing in my water bowl. I'll always be here for you.

Love,

Toi

Book Worm

Photo taken August 2005

Cole just read his first book - Biscuit and the Cat

Biscuit ran.

Biscuit ran to the cat.

The cat ran to the mat.

The cat naps on the mat.

Woof! Can Biscuit nap?

Nap, nap, cat.

Nap, nap, Biscuit.

Completely, all by himself, not from memory or by pictures, but by the actual words, out loud to me and Mr. W. It was AWESOME! We love you buddy.

Your super proud parents,

Mom and Dad

Kiddie Academy Holiday Program

Remember my blog about our crazy monkey at the holiday program. Here is evidence:

In hind sight, I guess it wasn't THAT bad. He still is adorable. So, we'll leave you with this Christmas song and say Merry Christmas to All.

Guess what!

(Cole and Caitlin)

I FOUND MY CAMERA. Actually, Cole found it in his coat pocket.

Hello camera!
Hello pictures from Skate City!

Loves

Sweet Baby Estes. She's already six and half years old. Graying on her face and a lover of belly rubs, we have concluded that she really is half human and half cat, living in a dog body. She sits like a human and lounges on the arm of the sofa chair like a cat. She is soft as silk and loves to be hugged and kissed. And she even likes her playmate Smokey.

This is Smokey. We call him Rita (code word for retarded). He's not really retarded but he is still a puppy and quite honestly, sometimes acts a little slow. But, his spirit is always happy. He likes to follow Mr. W. around and get under his feet and just bug him more often than not. But this big guy thinks he is a lap dog and well, if given the opportunity, will lay on top of you with his face right in yours and fall fast asleep if you so allow him.

Last but definitely not least is trouble. Just look at this picture. It really says it all - aren't those evil eyebrows? This is pretty much what our adorable baby boy turned into. He is 5 going on 20. A rebel, a ruler of his own world, a push-the-limits of every authority figure he knows. He basically lives in some form of being grounded, which quite honestly, I don't think he minds. Who ever stole my baby boy, I want him back. I have no money, but I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie. And how, sweet lilacs, can a demon child like this bring me to tears one minute of testing the limits of my patience and in the next, while he sleeps, bring me to tears again because he is so beauitiful and peaceful and still my baby boy? How, sweet lilacs, is that possible?

Other important news:

• Mr. W. tore out our old 1960's sliding back doors and installed beautiful new french doors yesterday. It looks marvelous. He really is my own Bob Vila.
• I didn't find my camera, but I found almost my identical one (pink and all) for a steal at Mictrocenter.
• We helped Grandma decorate her tree and get her house festive for Thursday.
• We went to see Avatar and it was AWESOME!!!
• Aunt Veronica surprised me at work today with a vanilla tea latte. She made my day.
• Cole is grounded....probably for life.
  

Skate City - Emerald Elementary Night

So, remember how I said I lost my camera. Well, it happened at Skate City and I had taken a

ba-gillion pictures of Cole and all his cute little kindergarten girlfriends, of him skating, and eating. The pit of my stomach aches knowing that I had those pictures and they are now gone. I just want to scream or cry or both...wait...I think I have done both of tonight. It's not just the camera necessarily, although it's not great timing given X-mas and it was a special gift from Mr. W., but it's the pictures that I hate to lose.

Skate City was fun. It reminds me when I was in Elementary school. We use to go to Skate City all the time. Cole loves to dance and the music is perfect for all his groovy moves.

Thanks for skating with me buddy. I had a blast.

Good-bye camera.

Good-bye pictures.

2009 Kiddie Academy Holiday Program

I had some great video footage of Cole performing at his holiday program and I would really have loved to post it here. I would have loved to watch it over and over. BUT, I forgot my camera at Skate City last night and no one turned it in. So, I'm lost. How do people survive without a digital camera. I could have used it on multiple occasions just today, but instead, I'm left with nothing but the memory that will soon fade in my little brain.

So, as for the holiday program I'll have to try to describe it. It was well organized. Each of the different classes went. I'm not sure it's gets any better than seeing those cute little one and two year olds up on stage all dressed up attempting to sing. Next up were the three year olds which was complete and utter chaos. They just ran around the stage, singing whatever they wanted and for four or five whole minutes, it was, in a strange way, entertaining. The fours were next and they did a little skit and all of them behaved perfectly. It was great. Now for Cole's class - the five year olds. They had four songs to sing. Let me back up just a bit and say that Cole's energy level in the month of December tends to go from 150% to 2,000%. It's incredible. So, needless to say, he was so excited for the holiday program and probably nervous at the same time and also being a five year old boy, somewhat of a show off, he was very enthusiastic.

I'm still unsure if I use the word enthusiastic in a good way or a bad way. I will say that as soon as he came on stage, I just knew. Knew that he was wound up, knew that he didn't care that I was giving him the "you better behave look" as I sat on the floor at the front of the stage with my camera. He was doing all sorts of dance moves (that weren't part of the choreography), talking to his neighbor during songs and so it went. And after they left the stage and I returned to my seat where Mr. W. confirmed my feelings. We were very disappointed.

It was the kind of disappoint that stayed with me until mid-way through the next day. The kind that had us meet him outside the auditorium and tell him we were leaving early. The kind that had us saying, "We expected your best and we didn't see it tonight and we're disappointed in your behavior." As a team, Mr. W. and I handled it very well. It was a tough situation. I mean, he is only five and I as laid down to bed that night I asked Chris, "We're we too hard on him?"

To the core of soul disappointment lingered for almost another 24 hours. I can still taste it if I think hard enough.

I know we will see it again, hopefully not for another 10 years or so. It was hard. It made me think of times when I disappointed my mom. Now I truly knows what it feels like....and it stinks. Even so, the video was cute and in hindsight he was still singing and doing all the choreography...but still.

2004-2009 Christmas Photos

2004 - Cole's First Christmas

2005

2006
2007 2008
2009

Santa's Letter

This pretty much sums it up:

Gilpin Cty Fair: Annual Tradition

Well, we didn't miss it again this year. 5 years running and Rachel, Sierra, me and Cole made our way to the Gilpin Cty Holiday Fair. We missed the face painter this year but they got temporary tattoos instead. It's always a blast to make the ceramic hand prints, decorate the cookie (and eat it of course) and sit on Santa's lap. We love this tradition and hope it continues for years to come.

Future Baker

Cole has been talking about making gingerbread cookies for weeks. So I brought some overpriced pans that I will only use once a year and we put our aprons on to bake us up some gin-gees. They may look delicious but in the end, they went right in the trash. So sad.