Deep Thoughts: Venting

I’d like to write about venting. I think venting is, at a reasonable level, a healthy activity. In essence, just the mere ability to talk about things and get them off your chest can make you feel better. I vent about all sorts of things – Cole, work, family, and yes even my husband. And while I may have pet peeves about each of these things or issues, it doesn’t mean I don't love Cole or that I'm going to quit my job, or divorce my husband.

It just means that temporiraly I am conflicted or just plain aggrevated. That’s the beauty of family and friends. The ability to share, in some cases, negative thoughts or feelings and have it be ok. Because that’s the way it should work.

But, sometimes, it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes, because your family or friend loves you and wants to protect you - even though that’s not what you need, you just needed an unconditional ear – they take what you say and use it against you in a way. Maybe you vent about a friend to a family member and then that family member treats the friend you were venting about like an enemy. Your family member shouldn’t be judging your friend just because you were venting about them or because you are having a personal conflict with them.

It’s hurtful and wrong. And it betrays a level of trust in confiding in that person because of how the person or other people they told acted in return. So when someone vents to you, it’s for your ear, not your advice or judgement. Be careful how you use information that people are confiding in you. It's a personal responsibility and an unspoken oath you take as a friend.

To lighten this heavy post up a bit, here's a shout out to Rachel, who has NEVER, in our 10 years of friendship, used anything I've said against me or anyone else. It's a mark of a true friend. I love you girl.

--lighter post next time I promise, just had to get this off my chest.