It's funny what parenthood can do to a person. Driving home from picking Cole up from school, we drove by an outdoor hockey rink. There were only two people in the rink, a dad and his little boy. His boy was probably about 6 or 7 and his dad was playing hockey with him. They were both on rollerblades and while it was a quick drive by, the boy was much better than the dad. And it made me smile as I saw his dad trying to manuever, wobblely, on his skates mainly to teach the boy. He definitely had heart.

You see, we attempt to teach people, usually our kids, things we may not be great at because maybe THEY will be great. Kids have that potential - not all kids have an athlete ability, or a singing ability, but what they do have, usually, is a desire to learn. So, teach 'em. Don't just teach them what you're great at or the things you love, but be adventureous, try to learn something new with them.

Be wobblely and get on those skates.

The most important thing is Heart!

Umple Joe came up with what we believe to be the most accurate description of what the most important thing is in someone's character.

Just ask Cole, "What's the most important thing?"

And he'll answer "Heart!"

It's a simple word that carries big weight. It's something we live by here at the Velez house.

Heart emcompasses all the good stuff - passion, spirit, love, tenderness, curiousity, drive, motivation, will power, giving, selflessness, EVERYTHING!

Try it out.

Rats

Tonight Cole and I got home from our day at work and school to an awful smelling house. And I do mean awful. It smelled like 10 dead mice had been rotting in a wall for about two weeks. It wasn't a mouse though. Through the darkness, I could see stuff on the floor, so as I tiptoed to reach the light, I found the source of the most dreadful smell....doggie diarrhea. And I mean lots of it. It trailed the span of our dining room, through the kitchen, through the TV, to an attempt to get out a locked backed door.

Poor Nilla. Sorry you didn't feel good today girl and thanks for trying to get outside. My brother would have just added to the mess by barfing all over the place so thank goodness he wasn't here. Cole just plugged his nose and continued to eat his candy. Meanwhile, I grabbed a pair of latex gloves (three pairs total), the mop, and got to work. I have to admit my gag reflex went off about four times.

I'm sure there is worse things, but half wet half dry doggie diarrhea spread half way across your house has to rank pretty high, right? But all is clean now (i broke the mop...not an opportune time). Just writing about it now makes me want to barf so enough about our welcome home surprise.

I had a disturbing dream the other night. I dreamt there were four rats in our basement. HUGE rats. FAT rats with long thick tails. It was like a nightmare and I'm still scarred from it even though I can't remember all the details. I do remember that they scared me and I tried to kill them but they were so HUGE and FAT and their tails so thick....

The next night I dreamt about sex.

What will tonight bring?

p.s. Thanks to Veronica for her post about family night. It was a nice treat to have you guys over. We love you all so much.

Why I Do It

I've been wanting to answer a question lately about why I blog.

Blogging makes me appreciate the simple things in life. The things that really matter. The things that make me the happiest. I remember when I didn't have a blog and I would read NieNie's blog and think, how is her life so wonderful? Everything can't always be that good, can it?

Blogging makes me feel closer to myself, to what's really important to me. It helps remind me to keep things in perspective. And while my life isn't always peachy, it's pretty damn close and blogging helps me give thanks for the little things instead of consuming myself with the things I can't change. It's about making cookies and taking a picture of them because you're so proud of how beautiful they look. Or talking about how you first met the love of your life. Or documenting some of the "firsts", like Cole riding his bike or singing in the holiday show. Or telling my mom how much she means to me.

I focus on the little monkey and how in the bottom of my soul, he has changed me. All the brillant things he has shown me and taught me. His little laugh, his beautiful eyes, his soft touch, his amazing character. I am so proud of him. He is my angel and I am filled with so much more love because of him.

I can't speak of love without mentioning Mr. Wonderful. I'll let you all in on a little secret - I don't always think he is wonderful (and that's ok and I'm not always wonderful either) and our marriage isn't perfect (and that's ok, too). But, I love our little life and the home we've built, and most of the all the son we're raising. And, those are the things I write about. Sometimes, I read through my old blog entries, just to smile at the silly things. And one day, Cole will read these and hopefully feel how much we love him and how lost we would be without him.

I love you monkey and I love you Mr. Wonderful - Happy Valentine's Day!

Super Heros and other things

Here's the dealio - there is nothing more adorable than a kid in costume for no other reason then the fact that he just wanted to wear it.

Recent Hightlights:

1. Velez Entertainment down grade turns into upgrade - We canceled cable! That's right, no What Not To Wear, Project Runaway, America's Next Top Model, Ace of Cakes, or all the other fabulous things on TLC. No more DVR/tivo. We're on rabbit ears and hulu. So, I remember when Tivo came out and thinking that was the best invention ever, one that we used daily. But now, with Mr. Wonderful's talents, we now have a computer hooked up to our TV and we watch free shows off of Hulu.com. It's amazing.

2. Tupperware - the second exciting upgrade is throwing away all of our tupperware and replacing it with the "Smart Spin". Now, the marketing for this product is all about the carousel that the tupperware sits in, but not for me. The thing that sold me is that it comes with three different sizes but uses all the same lids! In fact, the carousel is in the recycle bin.

3. BFF - this is the latest and greates from the monkey. He said one night this week, "Mama, you're my BFF." Knowing exactly what that means, I had to hear him say it. "What does that stand for?" "Best Friends Forever." AWE! How precious is that?! It's his new favorite word this week and he can keep saying it because it's so freakin cute. At dinner last night, out of the blue he says "Dylan is my BFF". Chris and I just look at each other, thinking our baby is growing up. Kindergarten registration happens Wednesday! It will still be six months before he goes, but just the fact that we are registering him, is CRAZY.

4. My bowling league ended last week and while I'm going to enjoy getting in bed on Tuesday night at 9pm instead of midnight, I'm going to miss it. I'll miss my team and the sounds of the bowling alley. We bowled today with Umple Joe. Mr. Wonderful is a closet bowler - he did GREAT today for not bowling in a long time.

5. Found out that I'm allegeric to peanuts, almonds, seseame seeds, tomato, clams, cantalope. Who would have known?!

Reflection

I'm sad that I'm just now able to post. It's been too long. I've been in New Mexico at a professional conference for work and a session I attended is the inspiration for this post.
It was given by a collegue , Larry Center - Asst Dean at Georgetown Law School, whom I hold in high regard even though I haven't worked with directly for very long. His session was one of reflection, introspective, potential, and growth; both personal and professional. So without futher ado I will share what I can with you and encourage you to participate.

The session was about setting goals and how to create a life plan whether it be for a year, or 5, 10, 15, 20 years. Through a series of questions, it's amazing how clear your life and intentions can be. Copy and paste everything below into a Word document.

Answer the following sentences/questions with the first thing that pops in your head. Don't overthink your answer:

Set I
1. I am at my best when:
2. I am at my worst when:
3. I am really happy when:
4. I want to be a person who:
5. Someday I would like to:
6. My deepest positive emotions come when:
7. My greatest talents and best gifts are:
8. When all is said and done, the most important things are:
9. Possible life goals for me at this point in my life are:

Set II
1. When I daydream I see myself doing:
2. If I had unlimited resources, what would I choose to do?
3. When I look at my work life, what achievements do I consider of greatest worth?
4. When I look at my personal life, what activities do I consider of greatest worth?
5. What do I consider to by my greatest future contribution to others?
6. What talents do I have, whether developed or undeveloped?
7. Are there things I should really do (eve if I've dismissed then before)? What are they?

Set III
1. Who has served as a positive role model for you and had a significant impact on your life?
2. Why did they have such a big impact?
3. What qualities did they possess that you want to emulate?
4. What other character traits do you admire most in other people?

The next part goes like this:
Write your current age on a piece of paper. Now write 10 below that number and add the two. This is how old you will be in 10 years. It's powerful to see it on paper, it has a great impact.

Choose five roles you have in your life. Some examples are (parent, spouse, church member, volunteer, friend, etc.)
Write them down.
Next to each role, write down the name of the first person you think of. For example, I chose parent and the person is Cole.

Now, imagine you are at a big birthday celebration in your honor (10 years from now). For each of the people named who are associated with the roles in your life, write a tribute statement for you from each of them. What would they say during a speech at your birthday party in front of everyone?

Re-read the tribute statements out loud.
Now ask yourself, what do you have to do to make those tribute statements real and true?

If you left your job today (or your position as volunteer, or church member, etc.) how is it a better place because of you?

Some food for thought. I thought this was a very powerful exercise, a much needed escape into my inner thoughts, desires, priorities, that get lost in the day to day rig-a-ma-roll of life.

TIPS:
1. Focus on the relationship - success comes from people not things. What people can you have a positive impact on?

2. Emotional Bank Account - this is the amount of trust in your relationships based on a scale of 0-10 (0 being none and 10 being infinite). It also includes things like kindness, curitosity , being a role model, not gossiping about people - people are always watching. How do you want to be thought of?

3. Be Proactive - think ahead. Focus on your circle of influence, not your circle of concern.

4. Life is a portrait and you are the artist - what is your life portrait?